i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
