I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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