I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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