...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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