It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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