I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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