Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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