i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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