But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
