Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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