We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
