You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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