Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
