Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"

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(763): View more from Minnesota

using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

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(443): View more from Maryland

Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.

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(847): View more from Illinois

If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it

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(775): View more from Nevada

Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex

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(917): View more from New York City

If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.

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