We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
