ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
