worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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