I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
