The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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