So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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