My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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