He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
