Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
