I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
