i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
