if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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