the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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