Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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