Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
