They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
