her vagine was all disorganized.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
