omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Help. Why am I so naked?
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