After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
