I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
