I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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