He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
