areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
