We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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