So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
