how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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