All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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