Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
