Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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