Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
please don't ironically join a cult
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