i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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