I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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