Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
