my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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