Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
now i know why i became what i already was.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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