I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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