He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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