fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
