dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
